Change is uncomfortable. Allow space for this discomfort.
I have been telling myself this for the last six months. Six months ago we decided to move to Courtenay, BC. We then proceeded to go back and forth on this decision several times until we eventually followed through. We found renters, movers, summer camps, made new friends, said goodbye to old ones, painted houses, signed contracts, purchased furniture, sold or gave away ALOT of stuff. At times it felt cathartic to be placing items on the curb for others to enjoy. At other times I sat in a room stacked full of boxes and was overwhelmed by the weight of it all. I often wished I could have undone the decision and just stayed put. Stayed in our comfort zone.
Change is uncomfortable. Allow space for this discomfort.
The idea to move came not because things were going poorly but oddly enough, because things were going smoothly. Despite this ease that had tiptoed into our lives, both my husband and I felt a longing for the outdoor pursuits that we had originally bonded over years before. We each felt that these outdoor activities we loved so much were a huge part of our identity yet we were living a life vacant of these pleasures and most importantly we weren’t sharing them with our children. We also missed the community we felt so strongly in Squamish and the slower pace of each day. We like the simplicity of one pool, one rec centre, one sports league… less decisions to make each day. So we started to explore the idea of life outside the city….again.
Change is uncomfortable. Allow space for this discomfort.
Its possible we both didn’t consider how much change is involved in moving a family of 5. We definitely tried to make lists but we ran out of paper, or time to talk about each point. Sometimes we can think and talk ourselves into more confusion. In the end we decided to pop out of our comfort zone and explore this opportunity as an adventure. Worst case scenario we go back to the smooth sailing life we were living in the city.
Change is uncomfortable. Allow space for this discomfort.
Fall is a time of change for many, especially parents. Children return to school and new routines are formed. Our schedules are bursting with hockey practices, mountain biking clubs, swim clubs and of course school and all the events that come along with it. Every single day someone asks me, “What do you think of the Comox Valley? Are you happy you moved?”… to which I reply, “I am not sure yet”. I am still uncomfortable. I am so happy with some aspects and so sad with others. It is a transition and I am embracing the process right now. I am in explore mode. It can be nearly enjoyable if you allow yourself to drift into the present and away from the “forever home” mode.
Change is uncomfortable. Allow space for discomfort.
When my little people trek home from school we typically gather around a table to eat. They are hungry little ones at the end of the day and are so grateful for the familiarity of food they love and recognize. Then they often separate into their individual spaces and activities for a short while. Sometimes they are soft and gentle sharing their days with each other. More often than not they are edgy, letting off the displeasures of the day in the comfort of their home. They are twitchy and irritable and need space to let that be. These days I rush to close the windows and doors to give them privacy to scream and yell and RELEASE. Sometimes they tell me how much they hate their new school, how horrible their teacher is and how children are so mean to them. I mentally resist the urge to jump into action or make assumptions based on their end of day babble. Space. A place to let them release their thoughts, feeling and unconscious suppressions without consequence or judgement. I must admit, this is a daily challenge with three very emotional children. To allow them EACH space to BE but maintain the security of the home.
Change is uncomfortable. Allow space for discomfort.
Usually a few hours later they share all the wonderful happenings of the day and I breathe a sigh of relief. They are home, comfortable and ready to head outside to play with their friends. Allowing space for discomfort to be released prevents it from being stored away inside the body. Like a muscle that is tightly wound they need to be gently coaxed back to their original resting state. This is much easier when done regularly than when trying to ease a chronic state of suppression.
Change is uncomfortable. Allow space for discomfort.
In this season of change I ask myself often: Am I allowing myself space to be uncomfortable with all of this change? It is easier with school hours returning. But the temptation to jump into work full throttle, to train for triathlons, explore all the trails and get the house organized is strong. These tasks are so far from mindful. I resist these temptations and make space for me. The way we care for ourselves is reflected in how we care for others. I am grateful that the work I offer benefits me alongside my clients. That returning to teaching classes also means prioritizing my time on the ground doing my own lessons.
Change is uncomfortable. Allow space for discomfort.
Each day I lie down for an Anat Baniel Method Neuromovement® lesson and begin with the body scan. I immediately notice the effort I am carrying in my chest and allow it to soften. I feel my shoulders raised from the ground with anxious energy begin to melt into the floor. And I continue to feel, sense and connect with different areas of my body that are displaying the inner workings of my mind. Together both my mind and body return to a state of rest allowing space for the discomfort that arrives home at 3pm.
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